Man, last night I was running around like a crazy chicken. Getting ready for a seminar in amongst all the other things I was doing. I got to the copy centre at about 5:30 pm, well in advance of the scheduled seminar time, to pick up the handouts for the class. “Sorry sir, but our website went down right at the point we got to yours. And we haven’t had a chance to call you” That’s all the girl at front desk was able to say, probably expecting an outburst of anger from another peeved customer.
I was just about to teach a seminar all about the affect of emotions on our health. I wasn’t going to be blowing up on anyone if I was to be in integrity with my message. How did I respond to it? I quickly checked in with body. I was shocked at first, but after the shock wore off I realised something. I could easily have criticised myself for this, as I had done in the years gone by, but I wasn’t. A testament to the work I have done on myself. You see, it wasn’t the girls fault, I could have sent this in a little earlier in the day, but I hadn’t. It had always worked before!
I have held myself up to high standards all my life. I haven’t always been able to meet them. I used to be really hard on myself. “You idiot” frequently made it’s way into the cells of my body, from my head.
Criticism from others was expected. Criticism from myself was guaranteed. Whether I did well or not. I didn’t know what it felt like to be kind to myself in times of failure. Even when I did a good job, I would convince myself it was not good enough. And naturally, the more mistakes I made, the more I began to fear failure.
As a personal trainer, helping hundreds through one-on-one training, and thousands through speaking engagements over the years, it become very apparent how much I was not alone. Criticism has caused people to gain weight. It has caused people to suppress anger and cause all kinds of stresses ( back pain, neck pain etc) in the body. And when we criticise ourselves, we often find ourselves criticising others.
As I have released criticism from my inner being, I have felt the health of my body improve. I have witnessed people shed body weight, improve joint and muscle health, and feel better about themselves overall. Most importantly I have seen them move forward without the same fear of failure. Gratitude beams out of their eyes.
Criticism is different to constructive feedback. Welcome the feedback and know the difference. Criticism does nothing but pull you down when you let it, and offers no way out. Feedback empowers you to move to infinity and beyond.
As a GratiDude/GratiDudette you probably are very good at being kind to others….naturally. How kind are you to yourself in times of setback and failure?
Next time a screw up happens through you, and you find yourself in a place of criticism, remind yourself to be kind to yourself.
Sometimes your greatest screw-ups can be a great gift from God. With BradiDude’s permission I will share our most enlightening story to date in an upcoming blog.
An affirmation to repeat, to become easier on yourself, could be something like.
“I am kind and gentle with myself in times of setback and failure, knowing that God failed through me for a reason, and I have learned a great lesson!”
So, how did my story finish? I asked myself “What is the gift in this situation?” After all the universe had caused the website to go down exactly when my work was getting printed. There had to be a reason for it. And, as result of taking this approach, my body felt better, and the workshop still ran smoothly. And next time, I am definitely getting it done the day before.
until next time!
PS – to receive fitness tips from me, GratiDude style, go to my website. www.MatthewAshdown.com, where you will be able to sign up for twice weekly e-mail tips and receive other freebies along the way as well as find out how to benefit from my personal training and coaching services wherever you are in the world!
I first learned about the affect of criticism from Louise Hay in her book “You Can Heal Your Life”. With a cousin visiting at the recent passing of a loved one, I watched Louise’s movie with her and it made me think of passing it on to you. For something that will uplift and inspire you, I recommend this movie for any movie collection. With interviews with Louise, Gregg Braden, Wayne Dyer, and more, it makes for a very informative movie experience.