In the work I’ve done for the past several years, working with youth and parents, helping them to step more fully into their Lives and Self I have often heard parents complain about their kids not listening to them. As a parent I think it is a natural instinct to try and protect your kids from harms’ way, especially when you see them repeating a mistake you made long ago.
Having been a rebellious teenager myself, often going against most things my parents said NOT to do…how does a parent give the freedom to their kids, but also encourage them to make positive choices with their lives?
I have been reading the book “365 Tao” by Deng Ming-Dao, which has been a fantastic read. Basically, i get a daily insight and meditation to contemplate. I think the one I flipped open to randomly yesterday will really help you parents in sharing WHY it is you care so much about the choices you make. I hope you enjoy and pass this article along to any parents who may be struggling with their young ones.
“Uncarved”
Once a statue is finished, It is too late to change the arms. Only with a virgin block Are there possibilities.‘It’s not easy to raise a child. You have to set an example all the time. Sometimes it is important for both child and guardian to understand that a child should not do certain things that the adult does. This is not hypocrisy. It is wisdom.
There was once a child who responded to his father’s admonitions by saying, “You do the same things.” The father took his son to a carver of temple figures. In the yard were great blocks of camphor and rosewood. Inside the studios were deities in various stages of completion, from gods still with fresh chisel marks to brightly painted and gilded masterpieces.
“I am older than you,” said the father. “So I am more like one of these finished statues. I have my accomplishments, and I have my faults. Once this figure has been carved, we cannot change the position of his arms.”
“But you, my son, are like the pieces of wood in the yard, still to take shape. I do not want you to have the same faults as I do, so I do not let you do certain things. Look at me. Yes, you say I still do certain things, but doesn’t that show how hard it is to undo a mistake once it is carved into you? Don’t copy me, and don’t make the same mistakes I did. Only then will you become more beautiful than I.”
Hopefully this will help some of you parents in the “Do as I say, not as I do” talk you all have with your kids at some point or another. And hopefully if there are any youth reading this, you’ll understand why it’s important to make positive choices now with your health, friendships, career, and how you choose to be as a human being. All of the things we do now are carving deeply into our subconscious, creating life-long patterns and influence.
Choose well today.
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Cowabunga Namaste :-)
Brad Morris
Biz’: ‘the GratiDudes’ & ‘Grounded Perspective’
1-778-430-7198
Skype: Bradley T Morris
www.theGratiDudes.com
www.Cowabungalifestyles.wordpress.com
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